Why couples go for marriage counselling?

One of the biggest factors couples opting for marriage counselling is an emotional factor. Irrespective of the heated arguments, fights, conflicts, issues, problems, there is a natural emotional bond and connection between couples which urges both the partners a need to save a relationship. Marriage counselling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status.

Some couples seek marriage counselling to strengthen their bond, partnership and gain a better understanding of each other. Couples also choose marriage counselling to increase faith and trust amongst themselves. Marriage counselling also assists in what type of person one should marry, according to personalities, likes, dislikes behaviour etc. Premarital counselling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and sort out differences before marriage.

In other cases, couples seek marriage counselling to improve and sort a troubled relationship. Ordinarily, couples choose marriage counselling for following specific reasons:

• Communication problems
• Sexual difficulties
• Conflicts about child rearing or blended families
• Substance abuse
• Anger
• Infidelity
• Physical or mental health conditions
• Finances
• Unemployment
• Changing roles, such as retirement

Marriage counselling can also help you cope with serious issues like domestic violence, dowry etc.

How does marriage counselling work?

Marriage counsellor calls both the partners for joint counselling sessions. The first thing a marriage counsellor does, is to listen keenly, calmly and extensively to the sayings, complaints, arguments, problems, issues of both the parties. Then onwards, a marriage counsellor begins the treatment accordingly.

The counsellor or therapist helps couples pinpoint and understand the sources of their conflicts and try to resolve them. Both the partners have to analyse both the sides of a coin, that is good and bad parts of their relationship. Marriage counsellor guides couples in adopting the skills that will solidify and strengthen their bond in a relationship. These skill adoptions may include open communication, solving problems together and talking about each other’s differences rationally.

In the cases of mental illness or substance abuse, a marriage counsellor may work in a partnership with other healthcare professionals with the motive of providing a complete spectrum of treatment. Marriage counsellors do ask couples to focus and remember on the positive and happy sides of their relationship. These positives may include romantic memories, gifts, the birth of a child, first date, techniques used to impress each other etc.

Speaking out easily and openly to a marriage counsellor is a tough job. You have to prepare it mentally first and remember that no facts remain hidden irrespective of how bad or worse they are. Sessions may pass in silence as you and your partner seethe over perceived wrongs. The couple counselling sessions may include yelling or a heated argument with each other in front of a therapist. Sometimes, one of them or both the partners may lose a temper and start insulting and abusing each other during the counselling sessions itself.

Your marriage counsellor acts as a mediator or referee during such incidents but, cannot take any of the sides to solve such disputes as there is a high risk of heating an argument. You would find your relationship improving and both the partners start feeling better within a few marriage counselling sessions. You would also begin feeling more refreshed, happier and a better life by attending quite of counselling sessions. Both the partners will observe and see a positive change in each other’s behaviour.

Also, on the other hand, you may ultimately discover that your differences truly are irreconcilable and that it’s best to end your relationship.

If your partner refuses in attending marriage counselling sessions, you have all the liberty to go to a marriage counsellor by all alone. It is quite difficult and challenging for one of the partners as well as a therapist to conduct a counselling session with only having a single partner present at the session. But, attending couple counselling sessions alone can still benefit by learning more about your reactions and behaviour in the relationship.

Couples learn or find new ways to resolve conflicts in a healthier manner:

Attending couple counselling sessions will equip you with great communication skills which enable in not only listening to your spouse but also process in what your spouse exactly wants to say.

Healthier and effective communication:

When you adopt the techniques of open and transparent communication learnt during sessions, your marriage prospers.

Couples learn to solve unresolved issues:

Marriage counselling allows a safe and healthier environment to speak out all the feelings, expressions you have hidden in your mind for the respective period of time. This leads you in finding your spouse is more than willing to work together to solve the problems in the marriage.

Couples develop a better and deeper understanding of each other’s needs:

Marriage counselling develops your communication better and strengthens the bonding deep and excellent in between. You listen to your spouse carefully, patiently and keenly. You take an interest, understand and respect each other’s needs.

A marriage counsellor can teach you those skills while monitoring your progress, mediating conflict and giving objective feedback.